Friday, July 25, 2008

Funeral Crasher’s

I am starting a new “dinner club” if you will. It’s gonna be called the “Dead peoples Food Dinner Club”. I’m sure you know where I’m going with this, asking yourself why haven’t I thought of this before. Well it takes a special way of thinking to come up with ideas like this and I guess I’m just a special kind of thinker.



It started about a year ago. Stacey and I went to Mississippi for a funeral on her dads side of the family. After the service we hightailed it back to the airport to catch a flight home. There were later flights that we could have gotten that day, but for some stupid reason I thought we needed to hurry home. As it turned out the flights were delayed and one thing led to another, we didn’t get home early at all. After all this I got to thinking about what if we would have stayed for the dinner that was at the local church, what had I missed by trying to hurry home. I talked to my father in law and questioned him about the food they had at the church. His report made me cry. Then it made me mad. How stupid of me, I should know better, the food is always gonna be good at a country church funeral party. So that’s when I got to thinkin I need to stick around next time, hell spend the night if I have to, cause the food I missed was probably some of the best southern cooking you can get you hands on. Nothing makes an old lady do her best cooking like a dead person. God bless em.

So lately I have been calling my mom and dad, my in-laws, aunts and uncles, just about anyone I can think of to see if anyone had died and if so where is the funeral. I’ve had a little luck, a distant cousin I really didn’t know died and the funeral was in Tennessee, in a rural area. I knew this would be good for a true southern meal, and I was right. I didn’t care that I didn’t know a soul there and I don’t think anyone gave me a second thought. Just dress nice, show up and know the dead persons name and your in like flint.

Problem is people I know just don’t die often enough and it’s against the law to really help them along, if ya know what I mean. So here’s what I’m proposing, start searching the small town newspapers. The obits are always easy to find in these small town papers and there is always enough information on the deceased to get you in the door and a spot at the buffet line. I bet we won’t even have to get on airplanes, I bet there are probably funerals almost everyday, in some remote area that is in driving distance.

This could be big. We could make 4 and 5 day vacations out of this idea. Hit the road, the two lane road, maybe even the dirt road, grab the local paper and find yourself a dead person. Put on a nice shirt, comb you hair, go to the wake, find some angle to work on how you knew the dead person and enjoy a great, southern country meal.

So are ya with me. Who’s in? Let me know cause I’m ready to roll.

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