“The service is terrible, but the waitress is super hot.”

Can’t wait to eat here!

At Wilfie & Nell, a gastropub a few blocks south, the room is a chaotic mixture of J. Crew and American Apparel, management consultants standing at the bar, the actress Martha Plimpton at a table near the door. Those wanting a seat need a keen eye and ruthless elbows: it’s first come, first served, and there’s no list. Here the ceiling is low, and the room has the dark, claustrophobic dampness of an English pub. The waitress, dressed in clingy black, with an eggbeater tattoo on her wrist, wends her way through the crowd with a sweet nonchalance. The food is meant to sop up the beer: pigs in a blanket, though the blanket is bacon; a buttery grilled cheese, made with tangy Gruyère and caramelized onions; neat little pork sliders, with the perfect ratio of meat to bun. Still, it dawns on you that, although the menu was assembled by Joaquin Baca, who also helped mastermind the Momofuku empire, the food is beside the point. One patron summed it up: “The service is terrible, but the waitress is super hot.” (Gottino is open weekdays for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and weekends for brunch and dinner; dishes $5-$14. Wilfie & Nell is open daily for dinner; dishes $5-$12.) ♦