Back From the Dead

This Friday coming will be 5 weeks since I delivered a couple paintings and some furniture, then around noon that day I decided to go home and rest til my back stopped hurting. It had been coming and going for a couple weeks and was really starting to ache. My plan was to rest til I was better. I was caught up with my work, Christmas and New Years were right around the corner and I wanted to be well for the holidays. So that Friday afternoon I grabbed the heating pad, I laid down and by Sunday I was no better. So I thought I would try ice. The heat was not doing the trick so I thought ice might be a good idea. WRONG! I laid on an ice pad for an hour or more that Sunday morning. Then I couldn’t stand up. The pain was crippling. It was so bad that by Sunday night, after trying all day to stand up we had to call an ambulance, I needed medical attention, I needed strong drugs.

I hate to say it, but the ambulance drivers and techs I have had the pleasure of calling upon are not real smart. They always talk about the stupidest stuff and they are not real careful when moving you around. The crew that showed up that Sunday were no different. I couldn’t stand up much less walk and they had no idea how they were gonna get me outside to the stretcher. I suggested they bring the stretcher inside the house. That worked. Then they were baffled as to how to get me on the stretcher. Well, beside the ambulance crew there were also two guys from the fire department on hand. I think when you dial 911 for an ambulance they dispatch the fire department medics as well. So I suggested they each grab a corner of the blanket I was laying on and put me on the stretcher. That worked. So off we go and of course they can’t seem to get the I.V. to hit a vein and I thought I was gonna have to do this as well. Finally after three tries they got it and gave me 5 milligrams of morphine. That was almost useless. So when they got me to the emergency room they gave me 10 milligrams more. Nothing. I was in serious pain. So they started giving me drug cocktails and finally I was feeling a little relief. I still was unable to stand so the checked me in for the night.

Stacey had gone to take care of the paper work and I waited for someone to take me to a room for the night. Finally this guy shows up, he’s very loud, seems really unhappy and he taking it out on me. We get to the hall where my room is and he yells up the hallway to a nurse ” is this guy ambulatory”? Hell how should she know she has no idea whats up with me. So the guy looks down at me ask “can you walk”?. ” No” I tell him” I can’t”. “Why not” he snaps back. So I ask in my most pleasant tone “what the fuck does it matter to you why I can’t walk asshole”? I tell him to just push me up to my bed and I’ll do the rest. He does and I do and he leaves in a huff as I’m yelling “THANKS FOR NOTHING ASSHOLE”.

The next morning I can walk again. They send me down the hall for a M.R.I. which shows two bulging disc in my lower back. The Dr. tells me that disc L 3-4 and disc L4-5 are out of whack. I tell him that can’t be so those disc were removed over 20 years ago in two different operations. Not remove he tells me, just trimmed and now they are out again and pushing against all kinds of nerves. Oh, and the ice he said was a really bad idea. No kidding doc.

So here I am five weeks later and still not fully recovered. I do think I will be 100% soon and won’t need surgery, but damn it’s a slow recovery.