TY Pennington, not So Southern or smart

So here I am minding my own business, building a Mardi Float, shucking oysters, boiling shrimp and taters, drinking beers, busting the nail off my big toe, then drinking vodka and eating pain pills, you know what I mean, just minding my own business. And along comes Ty.

I don’t even know the guy. I think Chef must have known him. See we had one of, if not the top Chef in Atlanta flown in to party and cook with us Saturday night in beautiful downtown Mobile, Alabama. Man did we, I mean did he cook. I don’t remember any of it but I heard it was great. The former School-board Superintendent and his lovely wife said it was some of the best food they had ever eaten and those two have done some eating.

Anyway, like I said here comes Ty and he’s got some other guy with him and they are shooting video of Ty talking, about gods know what. So they come in the front yard, where the party has gathered and the cooking is happening. No one really noticed him, if they did no one said anything. Now he’s chatting me and the Chef up while we’re trying to cook, but he must want a little more attention than we can give him, cause he heads over to the front porch, where all the chicks are, to talk to everyone. Evidently still not enough attention cause next he ask if anyone would like to take his picture. Well this is my family and friends and they are nice people, so a few take out their cameras and snap a few shots. A few folks use their cell phones to take a photo. I bet most didn’t really take a photo, just being nice ya know.

Next thing ya know he ask my Aunt if she would like her picture taken with him and her daughter, seems she hangs out with Ty in NYC sometimes. So they humor him and have their picture taken with him. click here for photo.

Now I ain’t saying nothing, but Ty is not really that smart. Sure he has his own hit TV show, a couple of sponsors like Sears, Bayer Aspirin and some other small companies, but he just doesn’t come across as all that bright. Like I don’t think he can drive, cause he’s got this guy driving him around. He can’t even ride a bike very well and it was a 3 wheeler. Sure, the bike had a 13′ paper mache Mystic Fish attached to it, but he struggled. Click here for photo of Ty trying to ride a bike.

He was also trying to put the moves on my wife, and I think little lady was having a little to much fun. I had to say something to Ty, I didn’t want to be rude but he can’t just walk in and start hitting on my wife. Click here to see Ty trying to pickup my wife.

And I don’t think he knows how to use a phone. Same guy that had to drive him around, also had to answer and dial the phone for him, I swear. But the stupidest thing he did was to up and leave. He standing right there, looking at shrimp boiling, the oysters being shucked, the Tur-duckling and the pork shoulder were in the oven and the chicks are on the front porch and the guys gets in his car, the one he can’t even drive, and has himself driven away.

Now that wasn’t real smart.