A Southern Christmas

Was the Friday before Christmas and all through the South, a whole lot of folks were running their mouth.

The stock car races were done and not a soul could care, not even the guy with a mullet for hair

The hounds were asleep up under the bed with dreams of big bones in their tiny little heads

Big mama was pissed and Daddy was drunk and he fell asleep in the back of his truck

When out by the outhouse came a big stink, made Daddy stand and try real hard to think

Away from this scene he had to dash, he thought Big Mama was kickin his ass

Daddy ran and he ran and then fell in the snow, how long he laid there he didn’t know

When he did stand up he said “where did ya go?” he thought he was huntin a buck and a doe

But what he did see were some tiny deer and a little fat guy looking kinda queer

He was quite confused and he lay back down and for hours didn’t hear another sound

He dreamed and he snored and though of Exgirlfriends, he could not remember, were there eight or ten?

He thought of their names and made a list, there was Nancy and Patty and Betsy and ….

It took him a minute but he came up with others, there was Lisa and Sally and somebodies mother

He was dreaming of them and it made him real happy then his dreams turned dark and he thought of his pappy

Poor pappy was laid up in the county jail, just a waitin for someone to go his bail

Daddy didn’t have a nickel or dime to his name so poor pappy just lay there going insane

I forgot when I started that this poem was so long, I thought I would rewrite it, boy was I wrong

I guess what I really wanted to say, hope you all have a good Christmas Day!